Do you think husbands can completely do child care and housework?

by Daisuke Matsumoto

I don’t think husband can completely do child care and housework.  The best reason why I think so is husbands, you know, don’t have a maternal instinct.  In addition, men have less handy about child care and housework like the diaper changing or cutting vegetable. So mostly husbands let their wives pull the double jobs.

For decades, mothers have been coming to complain that motherhood is more taxing than fatherhood and this disparity often get to become subject in couple’s house.  Of course, fathers are now struggling as much or even more than mothers in trying to fulfill their responsibilities at home and in the office. This is because husbands’ role are typically bringing home the bacon, but also husbands increasingly desire to spend more time with their children as wives have faced since 1970s―how do I be a good parent and good worker?―(Tara 2010).  However, there seems to have some problems for husbands to do the home tasks.  First, husbands tend to do child care in a “stealth” fashion―in other Japanese words “恥ずかしがる” ―.  It seems difficult for men to take advantage of flexible schedule and family leave like taking their child to the doctor or picking him or her up from school rather than take a formal flexible work arrangement.  Second, although men do more vacuuming or dishwashing than woman, they still lag behind women when it comes to housework.  In the U.S.A, when both husband and wife work out side home, the wife spends about 28 hours a week on housework, on the other hand, the husband can spends only about 16 hours (Tara 2010).  Moreover, men and women themselves disguise their domestic duties with different case.  In the 2008 families and work report of the U.S.A, 49 percent of men stated they do more or an equal of child care while only 31 percent of women gave husbands trust in child care.  Furthermore, the perception gap can apply to cooking and housecleaning.  More than 50 percent of husbands stated they do most or half these tasks, to the contrary, 70 percent of wives insist that they do all of these (Tara 2010).  If wives are right, you will understand how bad men’s work-life conflict is.  It would be suitable for fathers to fix a tricycle, play video games with their child or put away outdoor toys. That is why fathers do childcare or housework is less suitable than mothers do.

Reference

Tara, Parker-Pore. 2010. “Now, Dad Feels as Stressed as Mom” The New York Times. June 19. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/weekinreview/20parkerpope.html?_r=1

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One thought on “Do you think husbands can completely do child care and housework?

  1. Thanks for the post, Daisuke. I have a problem with your claim that fathers lack a “maternal instinct.” First, you’re assuming that mothers have this instinct … that somehow mothers are intrinsically, genetically, innately connected to their children, such that they want to provide more care for their children than fathers do. That is simply nonsense. And for someone who’s trying to argue on behalf of fathers, you’re actually insulting them by claiming that they’re both less connected to their children and that this weaker connection is innate.

    And men are less handy with diapers? Give me a break. And men do more vacuuming and dishwashing than women? Since when?

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